Oddities in the Stores of Self-Pleasure

I'm all for getting yourself off, we know this.

There's nothing like a little self-love time.

However, there are a few devices that make me go Hmmm?

And to each their own, whatever turns you on.

I've seen the foot that you can fuck like a flesh light.

So, fee are your thing, but nothing like walking into a scene of the walking dead, the room splattered with spooge rather than blood.

But hear me out.

Such as the Face Fuck Felicity Blow Job Masturbator.

I mean, I completely get what they were going for here, but I also can't help but think this is how a serial killer story could begin.

It was innocent enough to begin with. Him, his fuck head.

But then...he began fantasizing about a real woman; the one who never noticed he existed.

Or you could go with the promiscuous woman scenario.
The next thing you know, he's dancing around his room to Q Lazzarus like Buffalo Bill with a head hanging from his crotch.

See how I go off on a tangent when I see her.

I get it. It's the affordable version of a love doll. However, I can't help that it gives new meaning to the word skull fuck.

Maybe it's the lifelike hair that imagine flailing around while you are doing the deed to her severed head?

There is another version without the hair.

Haley's Hot Head Blow Job Masturbator.

She doesn't look quite real, so she's not as intimidating to me as Felicity.

Then there is Seduce Me Scarlet 3D Love Doll With Head <- with head.

Want to know why there is emphasis on with head?

Cuz it would be just plain creepy having the torso with no head.

Granted, these are incredibly cheaper than buying the complete love dolls, but imagine going to your new guy's home and having a head fall out from a closet on you. Looking back up to you with dead eyes, hair probably all tangled...

Just the head, for a guy who loves head.

In all honesty, I like that there are alternatives for guys besides the blow up dolls of the past, but the more realistic these ladies get, it's also odd to have just a body part or two lying around the carpet.

Do guys feel like they've entered Lorena Bobbit's when they see a life like cock and balls in the bed?

I hope you find the humor in this post.

It's also given me fresh fodder for a twisted novel idea.

Enjoy the head!