Excerpt from Ripped & Twisted ~ a fun exchange with Barbie

“Hey, Faith?” There stood one half of the Barbie tarts, smacking her gum and twirling her lovely, perfectly coiffed, long locks.

“Hey, Barb, what’s up?” Yep, her real name was Barbie.

“What’s up with Slade? Like, is he seeing someone or something?”

“How would I know? You’d have to ask him, I guess. Why’d you ask?” This is interesting.

“Well,” big pink bubble blown, then popped, “he hasn’t been up for anything the past couple of weeks. He’s ignoring my texts too.” She leans forward and winks as she states this, insinuating what the world loves to describe as the ‘booty call’. “I thought you might know since, you two are, I don’t know. Friends or something?”

What was the “something” supposed to mean? Slade hasn’t been playing the horizontal rhumba with Barb in a couple of weeks? From what I did know, he and Barb had a once a week or so nice vanilla fuck-fest. I mean, I get it. Look at her. She’s visually a porn-star in real life. And why did I get a little satisfaction from the thought that perhaps he hadn’t? Then again, why should I care as I’m “tapping” Ty?

“Well, sorry, Barb, but I’m clueless,” I say with all of the innocence that I can muster.

Barb keeps chomping and twirling, “So what about the inked up man candy? Um, Tyler is it? What’s his story? Is he free to play?”

“Once again, Barb, you’d have to ask him. I hang with these guys, but I don’t meddle in their personal lives.”

Well, yes I do. I meddle in the very carnal, erotic equations of their lives, but no one else has to know that I’m the one they are both playing with at the moment.

“Yeah, okay,” she scans me from the counter up. “So, I’ve always wondered, Faith, you a clam slammer?”

I spit the water I was drinking in my mouth into my arm, and pull up my shirt to wipe the spewed wetness away. In that instant, I sure as hell wasn’t lady-like. Damn, the bitch was good. Touche’, you horny bitch, touche’. I think I have gained a level of respect for your equal opportunity fucking ass.

“You know, Barb, as wonderful as the spawn of the sea are, I have always considered myself quite the meat aficionado.”

She tsked, “Shame. Let me know if you ever want to give it a go,” she turns and wiggles off to try and sandwich her way between Ty and Slade. I laugh to myself. That was downright unexpected. I grab a towel to dry the counter of my spilled and spewed water....